Contents

For those that are unaware, the night comes in two main stages: the performances and the judging (or voting). Everyone has to drink during the performance section, the judging section is where you get to find out how wise a choice your country was.

Yes, i know there are a lot of rules. Most will never be invoked so they are just there for fun (and to catch people out). The most important section is Your Country - make sure you know these rules!

1. Drink two fingers... Performances
   • Presenters
   • Performers
   • Coverage
2. Drink two fingers... Judging
   • Your Country
   • Note that some of the performance rules apply here.
3. Drain your glass...

Rules

Drink two fingers...

Presenters

• Terry Wogan makes a satorical comment.
• Presenters try to be funny.
• Female presenter changes her dress
• Male presenter changes his dress - drain your glass
• Bad time delays during video/audio link
• Presenters having a time-wasting conversation that no-one can follow, understand or care less about.

Performers

• Performer resembles someone you know or a famous person.
• Singers wave their arms around whilst singing.
• Tacky and nonsensical song titles (shoo-wop etc.)
• Main singer is grossly overweight.
• Singers try to join in with musicians during instrumentals.
• Singer from eastern Europe has faked blond hair.
• Bad dress-sense. Four fingers if it's blatently offensive.
• Visible/prominant nipples/genitalia.
• The Maltese performer does not have a hairy chest.
• High & loud obnoxious noises emitted from singer during their act.
• Unnecessary dancing.
• Act steals ideas from Eurovision acts from previous years
• Interaction with the audience. Four fingers if the audience is unusually passive.
• Dancing that surpasses belief and credibility.
• Foreign acts that don't sing in English.
• The song goes up half an octave in the last refrain.
• A country from Former Yugoslavia has a depressing song.
• Performers wearing ridiculous native costume.

Television coverage & venue

• Bad telecommunications link.
• Preview video includes a cliche specific to the country.
• Special effects are:
  1. Cheesy
  2. Better than the song
• Both (obviously this is a case for four fingers' worth)

The Judging

• Cyprus gives Greece 12 points.
• Every time Norway gives Sweden any points and vice-versa.
• France gives United Kingdom null point.
• Acts where the lead singer is attractive and receive high (8+) points and the act is crap.
• Surprising voting - you judge what's surprising!
• A question about Israel's presence.
• Politically-related effects during the act (eg. Croatian singer removing black gown to reveal white dress signifying "coming out of the darkness and into the light").
• Acts are on their mobile phone to their family during voting. Increase to a whopping four fingers if they're on the phone during their act.
Your Country

Each of the 23 countries votes (and a country cannot vote for itself). Votes can be 12,10,9...2 or 1 - and the country with the most votes after everyone has voted is the winner of the contest. So here we go:

• Drink two fingers when your country receives or casts votes for tactical reasons (eg Norway and Sweden)
• Drink two fingers if your country scores above 8 or below 3 points in a round
• Drink four fingers if your country scores 12 or 0 points in a round
• Drain your glass if your country scores 0 in three consecutive rounds

Drain your glass...

• If your own country comes first.
• If Greece gives Turkey any points then stop drinking!. This is very unlikely to happen so you must be veeeeeery drunk at this time. GO TO BED.
• Germany's song does not mention peace, harmony or love...
• If there are any black performers from Scandanavian countries
• If any performer wears a cape